Alex was playing along with his TOT video today when, about three-quarters through it, he stopped and asked if I could turn it off.

He was sad. Instead of being able to finish the video, he wanted to stop because he couldn’t do it with his friends.

It broke my heart. It was the first time throughout all of this that I’ve seen him truly and thoroughly affected. He wants to play on a playground. He wants to go places where there are other people. He wants to be a kid, around other kids.

I don’t know what to tell him. It’s so sad, and it’s absolutely normal for him to feel that way.

We went on a long walk through the neighborhood the other day, and on our way back to the house, we walked through the Chase Street Elementary playground. There was a family there whose kids were playing on the equipment. I was a little surprised, because we’ve been told to be sure we don’t touch anything—in fact, I really don’t think it was right. But I also saw the look in the mom’s eye—the same look I probably had when Alex asked me to turn off his TOT lesson.

the look that says, we just want a tiny bit of normalcy. It’s not for us, it’s for the kids. They don’t really understand what’s going on, and it’s really not fair that they’re caught up in all this.

Heck, the irony in all this, too, is that they’re barely affected by the virus. (OK, I’m not trying to make it sound like kids aren’t getting very sick from it, because they are. But overall, this is not hugely affecting children.)

But what can you do? Well, I’ll get in touch with his school—whoever is left at his school, if she still uses the app that I’m sure she pays for to keep us all connected—and see if we parents can get a video chat going with other kids and teachers. Alex seems excited about getting his friend Cleo on the computer too. He does seem to understand that it’s a place where we can meet people halfway.

Even if he still doesn’t fully understand.

When he watches his TOT teacher, he talks to the video, and it breaks my heard because he wants her to talk back to him. The first time he watched her, he couldn’t understand shy she wasn’t answering him.

It makes me wonder how all this will manifest itself when he gets older. Will he want to see people in person? Or, will he end up more comfortable being by himself, with voices on screens?

Or, will he even remember?